Ignoring Stop Signs

I'm a typical California driver. When I think I can get away with it, I have a tendency to roll right through stop signs when there is no opposing traffic. It's a bad habit, and I'm not even sure why I do it. It's as if I don't want to be bothered with that momentary pause that is required to reflect to see if it is safe to proceed. Unfortunately I'm the same way with relationships.

Looking back on my romantic disasters, I see how all the warning signals and stop signs were there at the very beginning- indicators that there was danger ahead and that I should proceed at my own risk. I rolled right through them anyway. I knew one of my former boyfriends was a liar and a cheat before I ever started dating him. I knew that another one was possessive beyond belief and would wind up making me crazy with his jealousy. I also knew that another would self-destruct. But I rolled right into the relationships anyway.

Dr. Phil McGraw, says something that I think is very astute: he says that "people show you who they are, you just have to believe them." In every one of my failed relationships, the men that I've been involved with have shown me exactly who they are from the very beginning, and I chose to ignore the danger signals. Why did I do that? All the information that I needed to make a good decision was right in front of me, and yet I failed to yield- I hit the accelorator instead of the brakes.

So what's the life lesson here? Perhaps I need to be a little less of a speed demon. Obeying speed limits and paying attention to stop signs allow us to get to our destination safely, without accidents. We need to heed the warning signals when it comes to relationships. If someone's behavior makes you pause and say "uh oh," don't ignore it. That is your signal that you should probably not proceed down that road. Take it slow and pay attention. From now on I hope I have the sense to come to a full and complete stop and make that right turn if I don't like what I see ahead.