Killing Polly

Don't worry, your parrots are safe. I'm talking about Pollyanna, that icon of blind optimism. You see, throughout my life I've been an incurable optimist. Optimism in itself is a wonderful thing: it gives us hope. But blind optimism, or the refusal to see people and circumstances for who or what they really are, can be detrimental to our well-being.

I've always prided myself on focusing on the best in people, in fact I've often said that I could get along with the devil himself if I had to. Unfortunately, looking back at my past experiences, I would say that I have put up with many people and circumstances that were clearly not good for me, just because I refused to focus on, or even truly acknowledge, the negative. My myopic optimism has not served me well- I've put up with tyrannical bosses, toxic friendships and men that carry around so much emotional baggage that we needed a bellhop 24/7. You cannot have clear vision if you are wearing rose-colored glasses.

Dr. Phil McGraw states that "people show you who they are, you just have to believe them." I can't think of a statement that is more true. We need to take people at face value, not filter them through our fantasy lens. Sometimes we want something so badly that we ignore what is really being presented to us. We choose to ignore red flags and we are attracted to people for "their potential" rather than for who they are. The problem is, most people never quite measure up to "their potential," so what we're stuck with is the reality. The whole point is, we need to quit trying to make people into what we wish they could be, and just acknowledge who they are. Most people are great, and those are the people that I want to surround myself with, instead of wasting time with those that are not.

Now I'll never be a cynic- it's just not in my nature. However I am going to start calling a spade, a spade, instead of a diamond in the rough. I'm no longer going to blindly accept that all people have my best interest in mind and believe that all people are honest with me. Unfortunately experience has taught me otherwise. That being said, I still believe that there are wonderful people in our world and that life is a great adventure, but I'm no longer going to overlook the obvious just because I want to believe the best about everybody. So I'm taking off my rose colored glasses and finally enjoying 20/20 vision.

And as for Pollyanna? May she rest in peace.