Two by Two

Hey Singletons, do you ever feel like the loan unicorn on Noah's Ark? (Why do you think they don't exist anymore?...) It's true that we kind of live in a Two by Two world, but what I don't get is why so many people are afraid to NOT be part of a couple. Don't get me wrong, being in a fabulous relationship is great- there's nothing like being with someone that totally gets you, adores you with all your quirks, and always has your back- I'm talking about compromising your values and what you want out of your life just so you don't have to be alone. There seems to be a chronic fear of being single and I'm not sure that I understand it fully.

I'm single, and have been for years. I love the idea of love and companionship AND I also LOVE my life! I am not afraid to go to parties and events alone, in fact I often prefer it- it allows me to connect with others and not feel like I have to appease anyone else. I don't have to babysit anyone, and I am free to just be a social butterfly if that's what I want to do. I don't have to give up going somewhere because my "partner" doesn't want to go, and I get to explore my own interests without any hindrances. I love my own company just as much as I enjoy the company of others. What I appreciate the most is being able to be spontaneous. I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want with whomever I want. There's something to be said for that kind of freedom. Is it selfish? I don't think so- I think it's life affirming.

The downside of being single in a couple's world is evident though- Single travelers often have to pay a "single supplement," and seating arrangements always seem to be set up for even numbers. What I think is most difficult though is the suspicion that sometimes comes with my "single status." People that are insecure in their relationships sometimes feel threatened by single people. Honestly, we are not out there trying to steal your partners. There's no reason to whisk your husband away from me if we are engaged in a conversation- join in and let's all talk.

What I find sad is those people that have to constantly be in a relationship just so they don't have to be alone. These are the overlappers. They will stay in an unsatisfying relationship until they can find a replacement, just so they don't have to be alone. The concept of overlapping is pretty distasteful to me. Not only are you dishonoring your current partner by being on the lookout for his or her replacement, you are not giving yourself the time and space to figure out who you really are or what you really need. Being single is a wonderful opportunity for self-exploration and growth. Don't deny yourself the opportunity because you are afraid of being alone. I guarantee that you will look back on the experience as one of the best parts of your life.

Yes, we do live in a Two by Two world, and I think that we are wired to be in relationships. But don't settle for something that doesn't meet your needs out of fear. Life is a magical thing, full of adventure and excitement. Be confident in taking the time to really get to know yourself- it will ultimately make you a better partner. It's ok to be the lone unicorn on the Ark- after all, unicorns are magical creatures and so are you. Enjoy and explore your uniqueness, live your life fully and embrace all your experiences. By being centered and knowing fully who you are, you will be much more likely to make a wise choice in a partner. Don't settle for just anyone because you don't want to be alone-the stakes are too high- this is YOUR life!